the Proust questionnaire

Jeff O’Brien Answers the Proust Questionnaire

Jeff O’Brien writes fantasy and horror, weird and absurd novels and stories. For more 13508885_10154140920775926_1024170234206822858_nabout his books … actually, skip reading about them and just read them. You can find them here.

1.What is your idea of perfect happiness?

A utopia with myself, my wife, my dogs, beautiful green women, and the small band of people who grasp our concept of perfect happiness. In my backyard there would be a transport to the magical land of Xanth, and I could go and hang out with the gorgons, nymphs, zombies, ogres and puns. I love a good pun.

2.What is your greatest fear?

The possible repercussions of sharing my greatest fear with the general public. Nice try, Dickey!

3.What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

Probably vanity, as I can’t think of one.

4.What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Lack of conversation etiquette. I have no use for someone who talks over others.

5.Which living person do you most admire?

Piers Anthony. I mean, I don’t know much about what kind of guy he is, but his virtually endless bibliography has pretty much been the greatest thing I’ve ever discovered.

6.What is your greatest extravagance?

Books. I live rather frugally, but can’t seem to restrain myself in the purchasing of books. I have more than I can possibly ever read, but I don’t plan on stopping any time soon. (more…)

Charles Blackstone: The Proust Questionnaire

by
Daulton Dickey.

The Proust Questionnaire is a notorious questionnaire meant to gain insight into a person’s psychological makeup. Although the writer Marcel Proust didn’t invent it, he is purported to have provided the greatest answers to it on two separate occasions, which is why it now bears his name.

The second subject to answer the Proust Questionnaire on Lost in the Funhouse is—drumroll please—Charles Blackstone.

Charles Blackstone is the author of Vintage Attraction, a novel, and the co-editor of The Art of Friction: Where (Non) Fictions Meet. His recent prosblackstonee has appeared in Chicago Tribune’s Printers Row Journal, Fiction Writers Review, and The Millions, Currently, he serves as managing editor of bookslut.com.

Visit his website at www.charlesblackstone.com

And if you want to follow him on Twitter (you should definitely follow him on Twitter. I mean, seriously, why wouldn’t you?) his handle is @cblackstone

1.What is your idea of perfect happiness?
I’m not really a fantasist. I’m pretty okay with real life.

2.What is your greatest fear?
Heights?

3.What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
I can’t like what other people like.

4.What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Insincerity.

5.Which living person do you most admire?
Martha Stewart.

6.What is your greatest extravagance?
I eat out a lot.

7.What is your current state of mind?
C+.

8.What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Smalltalk.

9.On what occasion do you lie?
Perennially.

10.What do you most dislike about your appearance?
My giant Jew nose.

11.Which living person do you most despise?
Too many to list.

12.What is the quality you most like in a man?
Giving a shit about me.

13.What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Giving a shit about me.

14.Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Shit. Fuck. Ostensibly.

15.What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My pug.

16.When and where were you happiest?
Right now isn’t so bad.

17.Which talent would you most like to have?
I’d like to speak French.

18.If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Speak French.

19.What do you consider your greatest achievement?
I’ve made it this far.

20.If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
A pug.

21.Where would you most like to live?Vintage-Attraction-front_WEB2
Here, in New York.

22.What is your most treasured possession?
My computer?

23.What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Mediocrity.

24.What is your favorite occupation?
People who know how to sell shit really well.

25.What is your most marked characteristic?
I don’t think I have one. You’d have to ask a marker.

26.What do you most value in your friends?
Authenticity.

27.Who are your favorite writers?
Cheever, Carver, McInerney

28.Who is your hero of fiction?
Celeste Price from Alissa Nutting’s Tampa

29.Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Kurt Cobain.

30.Who are your heroes in real life?
Martha Stewart.

31.What are your favorite names?
Hunter Flanagan, Peter Hapworth

32.What is it that you most dislike?
Food you have to process yourself, like peel-and-eat shrimp or shelled peanuts.

33.What is your greatest regret?
Not reading as a child.

34.How would you like to die?
Dramatically.

35.What is your motto?
In medias res.

Click here to read The Proust Questionnaire answered by author Jacopo Della Quercia.

Jacopo Della Quercia: The Proust Questionnaire

 by
Daulton Dickey.

The Proust Questionnaire is a notorious questionnaire meant to gain insight into a person’s psychological makeup. Although the writer Marcel Proust didn’t invent it, he is purported to have provided the greatest answers to it on two separate occasions, which is why it now bears his name.

The first subject to answer the Proust Questionnaire on Lost in the Funhouse is—drumroll please—Jacopo Della Quercia.

Jacopo Della Quercia is ajacopo writer and scholar. His writings have appeared most notably on cracked.com. As a scholar, his field of interested is in the medieval and renaissance periods. Recently, his debut novel, The Great Abraham Lincoln Pocket Watch Conspiracy was released by St. Martina’s Griffin.

To find out more about his novel, check out its official website here.

And click here if you want to follow him on Twitter
(You should definitely follow him on Twitter. I mean, seriously, why wouldn’t you?)

1.What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Being so overwhelmed with beauty that I can’t even describe it.

2.What is your greatest fear?
I don’t know! It changes every day. I guess a solar flare destroying the planet. That would be lame.

3.What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
I am pretty hard on myself when I don’t need to be.

4.What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Selfishness in all its forms.

5.Which living person do you most admire?
My cousin Evan. She travels the world like a superhero doing incredible things and refugee work. She’s also one of the most talented writers I know. Watch out for her!

6.What is your greatest extravagance?
Much like Ron Burgundy, I have many leather-bound books.

7.What is your current state of mind?
Active. And kinda hungry.

8.What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Oh, they’re all overrated in the grand scheme of things.

9.On what occasion do you lie?
I don’t like lying. Being honest with people makes your life so much easier.

10.What do you most dislike about your appearance?
Oh, don’t be so vain.

11.Which living person do you most despise?
I don’t really despise people. I’m too busy.

12.What is the quality you most like in a man?
Generosity.

13.What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Generosity.

14.Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
#PopQuizHotShot, but it’s all in good fun.

15.What or who is the greatest love of your life?
What are you trying to do? Get me in trouble!

16.When and where were you happiest?
Outdoors when without any worries.

17.Which talent would you most like to have?
I wish I could play guitar as well as my brother.

18.If you could change one thing about yourself, w20140809-222925.jpghat would it be?
I tend to procrastinate.

19.What do you consider your greatest achievement?
The Great Abraham Lincoln Pocket Watch Conspiracy. It is definitely the best thing I have done with myself so far.

20.If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
I’d definitely want to come back as a woman to see what I’ve been missing out on. I think I’d also like to try things out as a different race just for my own betterment.

21.Where would you most like to live?
Florence, Italy.

22.What is your most treasured possession?
I don’t have one. I try not to get too attached to materials around me.

23.What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Damn, that’s a deep question…

24.What is your favorite occupation?
I am loving life as a novelist! However, I also enjoy teaching quite a lot.

25.What is your most marked characteristic?
I do tend to talk about history quite a lot.

26.What do you most value in your friends?
Reliability.

27.Who are your favorite writers?
I have too many to list!

28.Who is your hero of fiction?
Again, there are too many!

29.Which historical figure do you most identify with?
I’d like to say Machiavelli, but I don’t think I’m a fair person to judge that.

30.Who are your heroes in real life?
I have a pretty cool family.

31.What are your favorite names?
Hercules Rockefeller and Rembrandt Q. Einstein.

32.What is it that you most dislike?
Pettiness.

33.What is your greatest regret?
I don’t remember. Besides, I try not to get hung up on regrets. Life offers countless opportunities you’d never expect.

34.How would you like to die?
Peacefully?

35.What is your motto?
“The secret to getting things done is to act!” – Dante